okay this is kind of major. charlie wants us to have sex. he didnt actually say it that way just straight out like that but he does. i can tell. he says little things like i want to be closer to you. i want to know everything about you. and then he does things you know and i kind of let him and then i stop him and hes like why are we even putting anything off till the future when there probably isnt even a future.
i dont have like some genius answer. maybe i should ask astrid what to say because everyone says she and sam are having problems. shes a good person i think but shes also kind of a b—ch and kind of a user.
i shouldnt have said that. now shell get killed and illl be all guilty.
i found some tomato seeds today and im wondering if i should try again. i cant believe how messed up i got over some stupid plants. but it was like they were my pets or something you know. in this place you dont want to take risks you know. you dont want to care about anything because the anything will get taken away. which is maybe what i should tell charlie. like charlie dont you get it that the fayz is where everything dies especially anything you care about.
sometimes i wonder though.
i guess i better try and grow some more veggies just so i can trade them for solar charger time and keep up this stupid journal no one will ever read. because i feel better when i write. hear that stranger who will never ever read this i feel better when i can talk to you.